-ologists and their tests

Ok, in order to obtain the diagnoses my Dr suspects me of having, I need to go to nearly every "ologist" out there. This means a boat-load of tests.  Some of my testing results have come back, I am not good at waiting for results, if it weren't for online stuff, I would be pulling out my hair.



I received  the results of my allergy tests today, and of all the things I was tested for; I am allergic to nothing. Yeah...nada....zip, nothing.

If I want to, I can roll around in pigeon feces, I can..because I am not allergic to it. I guess that is nice to know.

My cats can stay

I can own horses, cows and chickens now.

I am not even allergic to dust, I mean who is NOT allergic to dust?

ALL of the food allergies also came back negative.

Now, my tryptase is elevated which explains my numerous anaphylactic reactions. Basically, I am allergic to life.

*sigh*

Anyways

There is one "ologist" I kind of refuse to go to and that is a neurologist. When I was having chronic headaches I was told by two Dr.'s that going to a neurologist was not unreasonable.

Being an unreasonable patients, I declined. Luckily, I did not really need one, as it turns out my headaches were caused by an over-use of NSAIDS. I can never take an NSAID ever again-now if I take them it is anaphylactic city.

My initial refusal was initiated by what they do...


DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC TESTS NEUROLOGISTS DO????????

They electrocute you.....and tell you that it does not hurt. I mean seriously, they place electrodes in places-shock the shit out of you and tell you, "this does not hurt a bit"

They lie....omg do they lie. Don't these Docs know that us patients Google EVERYTHING, and in message boards across the land there are numerous accounts of how painful this procedure is??

"This won't hurt a bit"- the equivalent of "The check is in the mail" and " I won't c.." (ok, I am not going there...you know where I am going with that)

So, for me, nerve conduction studies will forever be called; "The Nope-Test"

Now, I know that my next step in the process of a diagnosis is a bone marrow biopsy test.

This is not a fun test. At all.

This is also a very painful test and some physicians do not order anesthesia for it, I will tell you right now..someone is going to propofol me before I allow ANY needle near my bones. Yes, I am on the defensive with this...I will beg, plead, bribe and make deals with the devil in order to have this done while I am in versed/propofol land.

Hopefully the Doc will take full advantage of the anxiety diagnoses I have in order to get the approval from insurance. That should be enough......in my little utopia I call Erinville anyways.

There is NO way in hell I will be awake for this. NONONONONONONO!!!! NO!!

Oh, I have heard people say, "It's not that bad"....I am thinking that those people are part of a fetish community and have dog-eared copies of "50 Shade of Gray" on their bookshelves. Those people are not normal......

I am about halfway through this process of test after test after test and so far, I have managed to not fire any Docs..I call that growth. However, I am thinking my threshold will be hit if someone tells me I don't need to be knocked out while some Dr is drilling a hole into my pelvic bone.

I have my limits.

Well, atleast there is a good thing I can look forward to, after I have the biopsy, I can come home to my cats who will no-doubt cuddle with me while I am convalescing....because I am not allergic to them.