I coughed a couple of times last night, what followed was a sound that I can only describe as what you hear when you have squeezed a bunch of bubble wrap.
Then the wall of pain came
Add the fact that my body is in a state of inflammation hell and I am now at defcon 5 on the Erin Pain Scale.
I accepted years ago that I would be in pain for the rest of my life, because of that acceptance, I have been able to put some pretty great tools in my pain busting tool box. Music therapy is a powerful tool that I use daily. I know that when I am practicing my vocals, I feel no pain. None.
However, breaking out in song in the middle of the grocery store in response to a muscle spasm is pretty impractical.
Breathing exercises and meditation are also things I use on a daily basis, I have gotten really good at the whole meditation thing....I learned long ago that if your face is all scrunched and full of tension, so is the rest of your body and that causes more pain.
My face will never tell you the pain truth.....this brings me to my point of this blog. Kinda.....
Dumb shit medical professionals say when you're a chronic pain patient;
1. Well, you don't LOOK like you're in pain
This one makes me want to choke the shit out of someone...preferably the one who said it. These words are usually spoken by a young nurse who just graduated from school. Bless their souls, they will learn...probably after they have blown their own disc-bad backs and nurses go hand in hand. These young padawans have little to no clue about chronic pain-sometimes they are already jaded due to the antics of the regular slew of drug addicts wanting "that medication that starts with D"-hopefully they will someday learn that acting as judge and jury in the ER is not their job. Denying pain relief based on the actions of others is not only bad medicine, but harmful to the millions of people who live in chronic pain.
Besides, you will never be able to tell by looking at and chronic pain suffer their pain levels by looking at their facial expressions. We have an uncanny ability to hide our pain, I am talking academy award winning ability. What I suffer from every day, no one cares about, I still have to go on with my life, having a pained look on my face all the time will not help me at all.
2. Have you tried Tylenol or Motrin?
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This is the dumbest of the dumb. No, seriously.....effing stupid. This should be filed under; "Take this persons medical credentials away please....".
3. Here is some Toradol.....
Ah....Toradol. According to some medical professionals this is the miracle drug of miracle drugs. I mean, kidney stones, back pain, tooth pain...it also promotes world peace AND if put in your gas tank your gallon of gas will stretch to 100 mpg
Uh....it is pretty much Tylenol on steroids and your Dr is stupid.
4. Have you tried Yoga..
Why yes, watch me take my leg and put it around my neck while I am in extreme pain. Ok, I have to give this to the medical field, stretching is the bomb, it really does help. However, like everything else, it has its limitations and is certainly not a cure all. People in chronic pain have different pain levels that shift sometimes on an hourly basis....yoga can not be effectively practiced at Defcon 5.
5. Have you thought about going to a pain psychologist...
Oh, sure...I'll go but only to teach him the numerous methods I use daily in order to combat pain without having to take meds, the person you want to send me to is not only a douchebag but a douchebag who does not suffer from chronic pain. That, and....Harvard. So...fuck you
6. On a scale of 1-10, what number is your pain
See, this one is tricky. I have pain zones....
Zone 1; neck up
Zone 2; Neck to hips
Zone 3. hips down
Zone 1 is hovering around 5-which is my baseline; zone 2 is circling an 8.5 and zone 3 is around 8. You do the math, if you want to average it, by all means....
7. We don't give effective pain medication for ______________ here
Why do you call yourself a Doctor? No seriously, why would you parade yourself around as a healer when you refuse to treat a verifiable medical condition that has been proven to shorten lives, raise blood pressure, insure depression/anxiety, promotes joblessness/divorce/isolation/anger/PTSD/suicide......
No, seriously get the fuck out of the medical field...you do not belong. You are a danger to the public.
8. You need to lose weight
"SHIT MAN....I HAVEN'T LOOKED IN THE MIRROR LATELY. Thanks for the wakeup call....but I have to tell you, when I was 20lbs lighter, I felt the same pain, Dr. Richard Cranium"
9. Have you tried epidural steroid injections
"well Dr Dick, I am still trying to work off the 20 lbs I gained from turning into pac-man after the last set of ESI injections....oh, and the $1500 copay, it just is not worth the very little (to no) pain relief I felt from the last ones. In fact, I gained more pain relief from the pain meds you prescribed for the procedure...(that is what us patients call a "clue")"
10. We don't treat pain with pain medications here..the FDA/DEA will not allow it
Ok, I am sorry, I thought this was "The Pain Clinic
And you are lying your face off with the FDA/DEA thing. Here let's give them a call, i'll use speakerphone so your ass is owned when I call you out as a liar who is lying out of your lying lie hole. That..and...my training taught me to RESEARCH EVERYTHING"
I really could go on and on with this.....
It is well established in academia that 3% of chronic pain patients actually become addicted to opiate medications...google it. These are well replicated studies, sound studies. Now, I know there is an opiate drug problem out there, I have treated addicts myself....I know their tricks. However, refusing treatment based on the actions of a small percentage of people is poor medicine.
Refusing to treat chronic pain has caused some people to manage their own pain by going to the streets. Funny, how the very people trying to curb abuse are promoting it by turning people away, society thanks you for creating a steady stream of supply and demand so do the drug dealers who are making money off the medical fields stupidity.
You run a higher risk of suffering from addiction if you are a nurse, anesthesiologist or a lawyer.
Google it, then check out your state's regulatory action board...look at the 100's of nurses whose licenses are in limbo due to narcotic misuse. Oh, and a lot of what is on the streets...is coming from hospital and pharmacy diversion.....NOT LEGIT CHRONIC PAIN PATIENTS.
Ok, I am done ranting on this (for now)
I have a lot of friends who suffer from chronic pain conditions, every single one of them have tales of horror to tell about their pain management journeys, I have heard some stupid shit out of the mouths of people who are supposed to be smart...but all in all, I have been lucky, my pain can be managed at least to the point where I will allow it. I have only had a couple of run ins with poor treatment of which I swiftly took care of, I am no longer passive when it comes to my medical care. So many of my chronic pain people have not been so lucky.
Today is the kind of day chronic pain people detest, the pain is bad enough where a normal person would fly to nearest ER for relief/diagnoses. This is the kind of day where it is raining, everything is swollen and getting out of bed is not really a viable option.
Excellent account
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